And just like that your life can change….365 days ago I woke up to a text from my bother-in-law saying that he had taken my sister to the ER.  My sister?  She is the healthiest person on the planet.  Impossible.  I will always be grateful to my brain for protecting me.  What happened minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and now a year is beyond human capacity to understand.  

Jeff and Emily have a value “Live the better story” I have seen this value lived to the highest levels this year.  They walk their words and this has had a profound impact on me.  

Emily has LOVED me from the moment she was born.  I was a terrible big sister.  In true Em fashion (regardless of how elevated the mean  big sister got) she ALWAYS showed up in love.  Emily’s love has ALWAYS been bright…even in her struggles with postpartum and anxiety she managed to show up in love.  Always looking for truth. And always being her truth, her love to anyone who crossed paths with her.

In 2019, Em reached out and said we need to start Marco Polo each other and hold each other to a higher standard of being.  We both agreed to become the best version of self.  As a result of this pursuit she has become my greatest cheerleader. 

We had so many conversations about anxiety, naming our crazy ladies in the attic, how to be the best version of self in the darkest of times.  On time, Emily came for a visit in one of my darker moments and said, “What you are going through is heavy and I can see you are present for it.  I am proud of you.”  These words I cling to in all the moments. 

When we learned that the first set of lungs died there were no words, hardly any breath and yet a subtle knowing was able to come to the surface. 

This is Emily’s journey if she chooses to wake up we must show up.  Emily chooses to wake up everyday to live her truth no matter the set backs, no matter the loss she finds a way.  

Suffering is here to crack us open to our truth.  It never goes away.  Nor does death.  Our truth is death.  We came here with a round trip ticket.  Two families have lost loved ones so my sister can live.  The web of life and death is a beautiful story.  What is even more beautiful is the space between.  How we wake up in the moments regardless of how big the suffering.

I have chosen to continue to be cracked open.  I have chosen to be in the heavy and remain present.  In our Marco polos, Em would never let me wallow or complain for long she would always ask…ok now what?  What are you going to do to change this situation?

Emily’s truth is HER truth and it is SO beautiful.  Two weeks before all of this happened Em and I had a hard conversation of how tired she was of fighting her anxiety AKA: Patsy.  We talked about all her options I never saw this coming.  I am grateful to be on this journey that is FAR from over with Emily, Jeff, Ella and Jackson.

In Emily’s honor, I would ask you to consider:  what is living the best version of YOU?  May we all choose to wake up for ourselves in the midst of suffering to learn how to be cracked open to our truth:  LOVE.